Nostalgia is a dirty liar that insists things were better than they seemed
i remember years ago
Saturday, January 5, 2013 || 9:00 PM
Kinda have an attachment to some things in my past that I can't shake off. I've been reminiscing a lot lately. But when I think about it, there really isn't much worth fawning over. Like secondary school wasn't as good as I keep thinking it was and I guess it's because I've only been thinking of the good parts. But truth is, not a lot of it was that big of a deal. Went through a lot of shitty things, in fact. But there were some great moments. Great people, too.
It makes me wonder if it's the idea of something that keeps you attached to it, it's somehow like you're used to having that particular thought that it would always stay with you no matter how much you try not to. It's the same with a person. Once you have an impression of a person, it'll always stick with you, even if the person tries to change. Or you might imagine them as the person that you want them to be but they don't necessarily turn out to be that way. I think some people are in love with their imagination of what someone could be and not with the real person itself. Maybe that's why some relationships fail. I've felt that way about someone before but I still don't know if the person is the way I think the person is.
That's what hurts us. Hope. I tweeted something that stated that it hurts to be hopeful but sometimes it's all you can be. I really do believe that. I thrive on being hopeful. Because if you don't have hope then what are you living for? It gets me through the days.
Anyway, it's already a new year. I'd say 2012 was not an eventful one. I spent so much of it just wanting to make it to the end of the day, and then it's the weekend, and then the start of another week. Over and over. Few months of school and few months of internship... it has just been the same shit, different day. What a way to live, huh? I think that's what making me have a positive outlook for this year. Soon it'll be graduation and I'll be free of the mundane stuff, at least for a while.
I do truly feel this year is going to be a good one. I want to make positive changes. I really don't know what's in store for me this year but that's the exciting part. Sometimes I wish I had my life mapped out, like having a proper education secured, paving the way of at least the next few years of my life. But then, figuring it out one step at a time and just getting there... It's different and I think that's what makes it fun as well.
Here's to 2013!
